Is This Really Love
by Snakeman32
Summary: The battle in Konoha is over, but Sasuke, the man Naruto loved, could not be spared. However, it turns out that a certain someone actually survived and has found Naruto and wishes to make him his lover. Will Naruto take Kimimaru as his?
1. Chapter 1

**Is This Really Love?**

_**Chapter 1**_

Naruto looked up at the pale blue sky as the soft wind played in his spiky, blond hair and sighed. Everything seemed quiet in Konoha after so long of fighting Orochimaru and his curse-marked followers. Sadly, Sasuke wasn't even spared. None of them were.

The boy pulled his knees to his chest and laid his forehead on them, sobbing quietly as he remembered all the times Sasuke had saved him, the kiss they'd accidentally shared. The accidental kiss that sparked that feeling within him. A feeling of need and want both, but also a need he couldn't satisfy with Sasuke gone. He wanted him like he'd never wanted a guy before. He wanted to kiss him and hold him and just all out be with him. He didn't care how many people would've looked down on it for what it was. All he cared about was that the feeling was there.

Slowly, after it seemed that hours had passed, Naruto pulled himself to his feet and, slowly, made his way down to the street-side restaurant that made his favorite ramen. Yet, instead of eating bowl after bowl like he normally would he paid for just the one and stirred the noodles and beef together as his mind lingered on that one image of Sasuke's face.

_I love you, _he wanted to say, but the chance would never again come.

He had debated on dying, but quickly talked himself out of it when he realized that he needed to stay to protect Konoha. The village was safe, but that was only for now. Who knew when enemies could attack again.

Having the nine tailed fox inside of him gave him extra strength and chakra reserves, which came in handy and made him a good ninja to have around when one needed help. When the fox was willing to help Naruto, that is.

Having touched almost none of his ramen, Naruto stood suddenly, just as Iruka was approaching the restaurant to get himself something to eat. Noting the nearly full bowl of ramen that the blond haired boy had left behind he turned to call out to him, but saw him missing and frowned.

"What's gotten into him..." he mumbled to himself as he sat down to order.

*~*~*~*

Back at home, Naruto laid down on his bed with his face in his pillows, wishing that his depression would just go away and fade into nothingness along with himself. He didn't want to linger in this world without Sasuke. Part of him just wished that Sasuke would walk into his room, turn him over roughly and kiss him deeply.

Part of him wanted to be dominated by Sasuke here and now...but it couldn't happen and he knew it. No matter how much he wished that Sasuke could take him and make him his, it could never happen.

Slowly, with the depressing thoughts still lingering in his mind, Naruto drifted off into a restless sleep and a tall, white haired figure entered his room and approached his bed where he sat down on the edge of it, waking Naruto prematurely.

The blond blinked his eyes slowly. "Sasu...?"

Then he saw who it really was and opened his mouth to scream and tried to get up to fight him, but the man pinned him down, pressing himself against Naruto's body and rubbing a hardness in his clothing against Naruto's own crotch.

The blond gasped and shuddered some from the feeling of it touching him and slowly stopped his struggle against the white-haired man that had entered his room. His libido was talking more than his actual senses and he just wanted to give into his lust for one night. Whether it was real love or not, he didn't care right now.

Slowly, the hand was taken away from Naruto's mouth and replaced with the man's lips. Skillfully, his tongue entered the boy's mouth, too. The two tongues danced together and Naruto's own member began to press uncomfortably against his clothes.

In the heat of the moment, the blond haired boy ripped the kimono off the man just as he ripped Naruto's pants and boxers off. Naked, they lay entwined with each other, kissing each other deeply and roughly.

The white haired man pulled away from the kiss briefly and, after taking a moment to catch his breath a small smile took hold of his lips. "I love you, Naruto... I'm so glad I survived to find you and tell you..."

Naruto stared almost in shock at the man.

At Kimimaru.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter 2**_

Naruto stared at the man, Kimimaru, in shock, unable to speak or move. Slowly, the white haired man lowered his head to Naruto's and kissed him once again, however, he pulled away when he realized that this time was different. The blond wasn't going to kiss him back this time. Kimimaru frowned.

"Have I done something wrong?" he asked.

_He's like a totally different person, _Naruto thought. His face flushed as his next thought entered his mind. _The only bone sticking out of him is...well...his...boner. _

A shudder of pleasure went down Naruto's body as a sort of heat formed in a pool below his belt at the thought of the hardness being pressed into him. He wanted to squeeze his length and lick it so that his loud moans would drown out his sadness. He wanted to...

Kimimaru's lips pressed gently against Naruto's forehead snapping him out of his perverted fantasies and to the reality that Kimimaru really was in his bed with him and that they both really were naked. Part of him wished that this was a dream, or a nightmare even. He'd rather be preforming this act with Sasuke, not this man.

That thought hit him hard, and his lust faded away and he fell back into his dark pool of misery and tried to turn on his side so he could wallow in it. Alone.

He felt the bed move as Kimimaru stood, but he kept his eyes tightly shut. _Good. Let him leave, _he thought. _He's not the one I want, anyway. _

A gentle hand was placed on his shoulder, and Naruto opened his eyes to see that Kimimaru's were looking straight into his. His green eyes staring sadly into Naruto's blue ones.

The boy huffed and brushed away the sympathetic moment that the man was giving him and hid his face in his pillow.

"Go away," he told him, his voice muffled but still easy enough to understand.

The room was totally silent and dark as the time approached midnight. Devoid of any sound of someone dressing or walking across the wooden floor, and after what seemed like minutes approaching hours Naruto shot up in his bed to yell at the man to leave when he saw his room totally empty aside from his belongings.

He was totally alone, just like earlier today. Just as it should be.

Just him. No Sasuke, no Kimimaru. No anybody. Not even nosy Iruka checking in on him to make sure he was doing alright.

He felt tears well up in his eyes at the thought of being totally alone, and then a new feeling that he'd never before experienced. It was like a tightening in his chest, and a rush of almost excitement flowing throughout his entire body as it began to shake with panic.

_I'm totally alone, _he thought as his panic rose.

"I don't want to be alone," he spoke to himself as tears streamed down his cheeks. "Oh God, no!" he screamed as he doubled over and cried and shook.

Everything seemed wrong in his life. Sasuke had been killed because his loyalty remained with Orochimaru throughout, even though his friends had tried to convince him otherwise. Iruka was checking up on him less and less. Was it because Naruto was growing up, or just because it was a hassle? Then there was tonight with Kimimaru... He'd said he loved him, but was it true, or was he just feeling lust?

_It had to be lust, _the blond thought to himself as he slowly uncurled. _He has no reason to love me. I've never done anything to him. _

A familiar voice echoed in his head. The voice of the nine tailed fox; dark and mysterious, and right now, amused at Naruto's pain.

"_But you are like him," _it echoed. _"Maybe he sees himself in you."_ The voice taunted and laughed before growing quiet again.

The blond haired boy took his head in his hands, gripping his hair tight, and doubled over again and screamed. "Shut up, shut up!" he yelled. "I don't care who's like me! I don't care..." he sobbed as the tears ran down his face faster. "It doesn't matter anymore anyway..." he whimpered as he reached under his bed and into his equipment case he carried with him wherever he went.

A sigh echoed through his mind from the fox, but made no effort to attempt stopping the boy as it watched him curiously to see what he'd do.

The boy took the kunai he'd gotten out of his equipment case and slowly lowered it to his wrist, nervous, before mumbling to himself the words "fuck my life to hell and back" and pressed down, wincing in pain as it cut through his skin. He drug it down his arm, leaving a deep cut in it's wake.

Sobbing harder now, he watched his arm drip with blood, waiting for dizziness to set in as he repeated the words again. "Fuck my life... to hell and back..."

He collapsed, falling on the floor beside his bed, where his arm continued to bleed, leaving a puddle of blood beside him.


End file.
